I’m new to this, this thing called “love”.
I realized quite recently that when it comes to love, I feel like a traveler in a foreign land. I find it confusing, distracting, bewildering. I hear about it, read about it, listen to people sing about it. Sometimes I see it in action. But for me, right now, it is a head thing, a construct.
I know I love people. Of course I do. I love my mother, my niece Hailey, my friend Jovanna. I love an iced cafe mocha made with almond milk and a sploosh of agave. Occasionally I have feelings that I might describe as “love”. But very often my feelings that feel connected to love are most easily identified when there is loss, grief, anxiety…….. that’s when I know I love someone. Quite Joni Mitchellish n’est pas? And those emotions are based in fear.
What is love like when it is not based in fear? It is a question full of contradiction. I know that. I’m told the two cannot co-exist.
So, I’m starting an exploration of love. I’ll gather information. I’ll read, watch, listen. I’ll surround myself with things to do with love.
I’m going to place my focus on love. I’m going to make love my practice.
I’m excited. I’m pretty sure my world is going to change big time.